Time for another episode of COOKING FAIL.

I read somewhere (of course I can’t find it now, so you’ll all think I made this up; I swear I didn’t) that one could DIY a pain de mie pan by covering a loaf pan with a cookie sheet and then something heavy, like bricks. Since I was struggling to find a pain de mie pan in stock anywhere (I have since found one), I decided it was worth a shot.

So I made up my usual KAF whole wheat bread, and got to the point where it was proofed in the pan, within about 3/4 of an inch of the top of the pan. I then covered the top of the pan with parchment paper, then a cookie sheet on top of that, then two foil-wrapped bricks on top of that. Quite a contraption, no?

And quite a heavy contraption. You would think this would do the trick.

You would think, but you’d be wrong.

It somehow crept out of the top of the pan… but only one side of the pan:

Behold: Fail Bread:

It’s sort of like bread with a spoiler. But a dumb, unnecessary spoiler like a giant wing on the back of a ’79 Rabbit. Good times.

That said, the texture of the bread is actually pretty great, so I’m very excited about the possibilities with a real pain de mie pan.  More on that later, I’m sure.